Why I am a Child.

I don't like being yelled at. Embarassing me, it's the worst thing, I hate it. Yelling embarasses me, making my business public business makes me angry. So it takes a long time for me to recover from that.

I am selfish. I know it. I only pay attention to things that have to do with me. I do not usually listen as well as I ought to, I am usually trying to figure out the next thing that is about to happen. I I I MEMEME. No wonder my nickname is Meme. I rarely go out of my way to call people up, I just let them do it first and go from there. It generally works, but I should try harder.

I do not have the brain capacity to solve people-problems. I often assume people are just like me, so I treat them the way I would want to be treated. Hey, that's the golden rule, right? Well, I see a tendency of leaving people hanging. They expect me to say something when I know what I would want is just a shoulder to lean on. I can't think of what to say! I am sure what I would say is reasonable, but in certain situations, I don't want reason, I want comfort. What to do...

I am lazy. Unless what I need to do is something that I NEED to do or it is something I really want to do. Is that bad?

I'm good at things that are given to me, tasks and my job, projects, and things people count on me for. Other than that I don't do much. I clean up the house, I hang out with people, I read. Am I wasting my life?

Sigh. Who am I and who am I to others? I don't even know right now. I am a shadow, or a vapor. A wisp of white smoke that talks sometimes, gets [mis]quoted, and becomes a cartoon in people's minds. I am not real, just a joke. That's how I feel. And if I change, when I act differently, people don't know how to respond. They just want the joke, the silly girl who wears hot pink snow boots, has a My Little Pony video she still knows the words to, and has a puppet named Judith. The problem is, I'm not sure who I would be otherwise anyway.