Bachelorette Party

I have been to many places. Kigali, Rwanda. Nairobi, Kenya. Amsterdam, Netherlands. Lima, Peru. Iquitos, Peru. California, Texas, Mexico, Big Springs. I have been to lots of places many of my peers have not gone. But I'm about to embark on a place many of my peers have gone and I have not: The Bedroom.

My heart nervously races when I think about what comes after the wedding. I bite my lips together, I turn my eyes upwards. Oh God, I think. How am I supposed to know what to do? When I wanted to learn to sew, I read a book. When I didn't know what sautee meant, I looked it up on the internet. When I wasn't sure how delegates worked, I checked Wikipedia (which, side note, is just as accurate - or, inaccurate, depending on how you look at it - as the Encyclopedia Britanica). But this seems... different. I even got a couple books, including "Sex for Dummies" and "Position of the Day" as gag gifts from friends, but no matter how I studied, I just don't feel like I know everything I need to know. I feel like I need to wash my eyes/brain.

Should I be writing this? Is this AWKWARD? Hey, you don't know AWKWARD until you realize that in a week and a half you're going to have sexual intercourse for the first time, and you DONT KNOW HOW. [however, not knowing doesn't make me any less excited].

How does a condom work? Will it hurt? Has a tampon already rupture the hymen? Is "hymen" the word I was looking for? Does anyone else think that KY looks more messy than it does helpful? Do I need to go out and buy lingerie? Is it REALLY all it's cracked up to be?

I'm hoping that someone *cough Kristin* who has been down this road can enlighten me at the bachelorette party. I'm not really sure what all we are going to do, although I'm hoping for some lingerie (which I've heard the invitations made loud and clear) and maybe some fun at my sexually-inept-expenese.

Just a couple ponderings on this subject (S-E-X). I think I waited too long to have sex. Note: what I am NOT saying is I think I should have had sex already. I think it's good that I waited for marriage. What I AM saying is that I think that people got married way earlier than 21, so my generation, in this day and age, if they are going to not have sex until they're married, probably wait longer than anyone else usually waits to have sex. I mean, if you think about it, the Blessed Virgin Mother Mary probably had sex at age 14 or 15, right? She had Jesus when she was about 13, didn't she? I feel like I missed the boat. It's like this inside joke that gets brought up all the time that I have to laugh at, but it's a fake laugh. Like when I was a freshman and still hadn't had my period yet, and my friends would complain about cramps and I'd nervously fidgit and a little too loudly agree, "OH CRAMPS! GOSH, YEAH MINE KILLED LAST TIME." What? What are these...cramps? Now it's like, What? What do you mean... queef? [Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm going to post this.] But seriously, sometimes I am about to fall asleep and shoot up, thinking, "Have I gone too long without sex? It sounds like fun, but am I seriously going to want to do it every day?* I've gone this long without it and I don't FEEL any less human, so what's the big deal?"

Ok, settle down everyone, there are a few things I have learned about sex. It's selfless - I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for him. It's the intimacy that nobody else can reach with the person you love. It's the physical expression of love. I get that - that makes me warm and tingly and excited and happy. I can see the draw towards that. I am excited for this new, exciting thing that all the kids are (unfortunately) doing these days - except we'll do it the way we're supposed to.

Or will we? I'll probably screw it up by not knowing what goes where. I guess the conclusion I need to come to can be summed up in a song we sang so long ago in a high school musical, Annie Get Your Gun!: I'll just have to do "what comes naturally"!

*Steven, don't worry, I'll try to do it every day. I remember the stuff we learned at marriage counseling! :)