Fashionista

Kenzie and I had a Girl's Night.

We needed it. Bailey and I picked up Kenzie from work around 10:20 PM on Friday night. We drove to Family Video, picked out a movie aimed to attract high school girls (Step Up!), grabbed pizza and snacks from HyVee, and hit the couch. We used the Tingler on each other, we ate, and we relaxed. We needed it.

As the movie was ending(it was terrific, by the way, just terrific!), Kenzie was just beginning to Tingle my hair and back. So I tried to elongate the experience. As soon as the credits began to roll, the clicker was scrolling down the menu and I was picking Bonus Features to check out. "The Making of 'Step Up!'" came first, then (of course) the Blooper reel, followed by, "The Contest". The Contest was a contest that the producers of the film put together in association with MySpace. People could submit a home-made music video to the theme song of the movie. Watching Ciera, the director, and the stars of the film watch some of these submissions was pretty lame. The segment ended and then a menu of music videos came up. So we started watching them. Ciera started us off.

Helloooooo Janet Jackson/HOW TO be a Slut music video! Sick graphics (sick as in whoever thought they knew how to make graphics for this video should be embarassed and ashamed) back-dropped Ciera in her skimpy black leather outfit (complete with shiny black leather gloves, of course), jigglin' her thang as four or five thug guys pelvic thrusted the air in her direction. Hot.

The longest music video ever dragged on while Kenzie and I laughed and balked. THEN, the BEST PART HAPPENED: She started bouncing around the screen in a GREEN VELOUR JUMP SUIT! AH! The epitome of "SEXY," velour jumpsuits have become, in my opinion, the most over-used and STILL most ovious lack of real effort to put on something fashionable that celebrities fall back on ALL. THE. TIME. So I guess when I wrote "SEXY", I really meant "CLASS-LESS", or "TRASHY". Obviously, this is just my opinion. I think most agree with me. I know that Kenzie does.

We laughed, a lot. "Jump suits are perfect for any situation!" I joked, getting the response I was looking for (laughter). "I wear them all the time! I wear black ones to funerals, white ones to weddings, you know, just pick a color and go!" Kenzie is rolling. I've got her right where I want her for this: "I wore a pink jumpsuit to one of my proms!" She bursts out some more, snickering and trying to catch her breath. She is really cute when she thinks something is really funny, her face pinches up and she gets little tears in her eyes; I find this so entertaining, which is why I kept going. "Yeah! All the other girls were so jealous! They were like, 'Oh no she did not! She did not just trump us all by wearing that jumpsuit!' And I was all, 'Oh yes I did bitches! I'm showing you all up in my jumpsuit!" She is trying to get something out between giggles, so I pause.

"Did you wear" - inhale, inhale, inhale - "BIG BLING TOO??" She gets this out before she starts laughing again.
"Of course! Lots of it! I had on tons of ice!"
"And" - gasp- "GRILLZ???"
We giggled for a while, just picturing me in a pink velour jumpsuit, iced out and flashing my grillz. In my imagination, I also had corn-rows and long fake fingernails. I don't know what Kenzie saw... but long after I had quieted down, she was still giggling.

After what seemed like a few minutes, I started laughing again, and begged, "WHAT?? Why are you still laughing?"
"Because" - short breath, choke - "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WORE A JUMPSUIT TO YOUR PROM!"