Men

I think that it is dumb to expect men to be like Jude Law is in "The Holiday." Perfect. Just lovely - the way he weeps when he is sad, the way he touches her fingers as they lay in the tent. I think it is dumb to be able to count on someone to treat you like a princess all the time. I think it is unrealistic for even the worst moments in life to be sugar-coated because the man is making it alright, really. I think these things because that's reality.

I have to say, though, that as time has progressed, I know a guy who has done a pretty decent job. As reality goes, he isn't perfect. His timing in telling me he loved me for the first time wasn't a perfect Hollywood moment. Our first kiss was in his basement. Sometimes he lets dumb things get him in a tizzy and it is difficult to snap him out of it. But he is passionate, I've seen him cry, he laughs at the little things I do that nobody else has ever noticed, and he is persistent and patient with me, two things that I crave from a man.

im certainly not a perfect girl. i have a problem letting go of the reigns a lot of the time. my heart catches easily on stupid things and instead of carefully untangling the snag, I pull and rip at him or us or whatever. when i want something i say it and when i dont want something i let him know that too. sometimes i think that there is nothing wrong with that, because i definitely dont think that someone should remain silent when they arent happy or content or okay. on the other hand though, my distrust in his ability to satisfy me often leads me to cut him off before he has the chance to prove himself. i need to work on that.

but i am just a girl, who is slowly growing into a woman. im just a girl, but i am a girl in love with a guy who loves me back equally. and everyone deserves that, and i have never had that, and i love that a lot.