Christianity Today

Zacchaeus was a wee little man
and a wee little man was he
he climbed up in a sycamore tree
for the Lord he wanted to see...

Sunday school song - you probably know it. I picture a well-dressed little midget man struggling to climb up a sprawling tree. His dark beard has flecks of bark in it, and his olive skin is shaded by the leaves. "If nobody will let me through, I'll have to climb this tree," he thinks to himself. "But I've GOT to catch a glimpse of this guy!"

Pride is not something Zacchaeus seemed to be relishing when he made his way up the tree. Pride is not something that we are supposed to have. It's a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority. But pride is something that I find permeating the Christian community. It is subtle to the untrained eye - but once you detect it, you see it everywhere.

One thing I love (I'm in love with) about Jesus is his unconditionality. He is equal opportunity, he is unfailing love, he is color- race- age- wealth- health- cleanliness- sinful-ness blind. Well, he sees it, but it doesn't change his affection to those around him. Those of a different race (Samaritans), prostitutes (Mary - Luke 7:37), the blind (Mark 8:23), the lame (Mark 2:4), the poor (Mark 10:21), the rich (Zacchaeus), the powerful (centurian, Mark 8:8), the sick (lepers), the healthy (Martha - Luke 10:41), the young and old (Luke 8:40-56), the intelligent (Nicodemus - John 3:1), even the dead (Lazarus - John 11:43)! Jesus loved everyone, even when they were "unclean" in the eyes of the world.

Something that has bothered me for a long time about the Christian community (at least, the Christian communities I have come into contact with) this this sanctimonious, holier-than-thou attitude. Almost every Christan says or does things just like the non-Christian across the hall in their dorm building, but the Christans close their doors and pretend that the blow job they just gave or the scathing remark about someone's hair cut didn't actually happen. And when they walk around campus or high school, their heads are raised high, an image of perfection and holiness for the darkness to see. That bothers me.

But there is something that bothers me a little more, and something I just figured out recently. It is that most Christians I know have done a lot of things in their past that they are ashamed of, and because of Christ they have put those childish ways behind them. But they STILL act like they were never bad. Christians who have lost their virginity pretend that they never did. Christians who used to party hard in high school and college still have parents who think their child was "one of the role models." Christians who betrayed their friends never apologize because that would mean they did something wrong. This is what I mean when I say pride - Christians are too proud of being "Christ-like", i.e. "perfect", in the eyes of the world and other Christians. Heaven forbid we make mistakes, let alone admit to them.

And as the savior passed his way
he looked up in that tree
and he said, "Zacchaeus, you come down!
For I'm coming to your house today!
For I'm coming to your house to stay!"

Jesus didn't come here to paint over our sins or hide them behind a shiney facade. He held prostitutes in his arms and changed them into godly women. He met with an adulterous woman from an inferior race and changed her life. He dined with a thief who everyone hated, and then the thief promised to give all his money to the poor and those he stole from. Jesus can do a lot with someone who is willing to share their faith, but he can do so much more with someone who is willing to share their past as well. There just aren't enough Christians who understand that Jesus wants to use our grimey sins for good.

Jesus transforms people. Paul didn't hide the fact that he stoned Christians after he became one - he used his past as a way of helping those with similarly shady lives. I met a guy in Peru whose name was Many. He was from the Bronx, and he used to work for the Mafia. He used to have millions of dollars, women on both arms, highly-illegal drugs, a mansion, Ferraris. He also used to pop people's eyeballs out. He got in bar brawls and sent people to the hospital. He paralyzed a few people. He killed people. And then he met Jesus. Now Many can get into the toughest bars with his tasteless tattoos and thick exterior. Many uses his past to change the futures of people who perfect, well-bred, do-good Christians could never reach. In fact, I don't know many people who see perfect, well-bred, can-do-no-wrong Christians and want to know the Jesus they spout about.

Too many people I know live life from a lofty lifegaurding chair. From high above they blow their whistle and point and yell and judge. They don't see faces, circumstances, differences, or pain; they just see a cess pool of sin and forbid their children or friends to get anywhere near it.

"If you hang out with THOSE kids..."
"If I find out you went to that party..."
"Lip rings are a sin because they cause other people to sin..."
"Tattoos are for criminals..."
"That's not the type of person I want you being friends with..."
"If you hang out with those kids, we can't be friends anymore..."
"You got drunk last weekend? Guess you didn't pay attention in Sunday School..."
"Don't say Jesus was ugly! You can't say that!"

I know too many Christians who are unwilling to admit their mistakes.
I see too many Christians who are too afraid to say, "I sinned - I smoke, I did drugs, I had sex, I drank - but look, I am changed. I am forgiven. I'm a new creature. I've made a fresh start on life. Thanks to Jesus, I once was lost, but now I'm found! I have purpose and reason. I can relate to what you are going through. Let me show you what a life in abundance can mean for you."

I don't think this is the way Jesus envisioned the Church. I don't pretend to claim that Jesus told me to proclaim this, because I don't think many people have as much of a direct line of communication to God that they think they do. But I know I've sinned - I know I have done some shameful things behind closed doors. I got drunk a few times before I was 21. I talk about people behind their backs sometimes, even today. I am NOT perfect - nor do I want to pretend that I am. I get along better with people I meet with in bars then I do with people I sit next to at church. I get angry with the woman who stand two rows ahead who cover themselves in bangles and jewels and designer clothing. I wish I was sitting with a bunch of homeless people who stunk. I wish I didn't feel like putting on a dress to show up with a bunch of people I don't relate to for an hour on Sundays. I guess that's why I don't have an affinity for going to church anymore. My church is with my friends, talking about God, mulling over philosophies of life and studying what we think Jesus would do. And then, when we can, doing it.

Like I said, I don't claim to have this all figured out. I don't have any idea if I'm way off on all of this. But I do know that as an imperfect Christian, I can't seem to fit in with the perfect Christians I see and meet every day. It's hard to be a sinner among people who emphasize the saint part of the phrase. It's been a rant, I'm sorry... just a couple of things I have been mulling over. Even the end of the Zaccheus tune doesn't get to the part where Zacchaeus' life is changed. Maybe that's why Sunday School graduates don't get it.